Update

I went to the doctor today for a follow-up. He really didn't tell me anything new. Just that he's just waiting for the test results to see if there's anything abnormal going on. There are still more questions than answers. Which just completely depressed me more than anything. I'm supposed to go to the hematologist and go over the results of my blood work. Though she already told me she suspects everything will turn out normal. If everything is alright, then why did this happen to me? Why did I lose my baby? It's just so frustrating . . . .
I just feel really pessimistic about the whole thing. Even now this whole thing is fucking surreal to me. My friend called me tonight and I realized that I needed to start letting them know the news. So I told her and she offered her condolences, but then she tells me that I'll have another one. That's not what I want to hear. I wanted HER. I wanted my sweet little Angel more than I wanted anything else in my life.
Everyone keeps telling me that time will heal this pain. I don't think so. I don't think this pain will ever go away. There's a piece of my heart that's been ripped away, that hole will always be there until the day I die. Nothing, NOTHING will change the fact that my baby is not here with me. I am so angry that I won't ever hold her or talk to her or raise her. She's gone and I am left here completely numb and empty.